FUCK IT: An Honest Guided Meditation
FUCK IT is an HONEST guided meditation. For those that refute the idea that deep breaths and clearing your mind will fix anything. This reflection is in several guided mindfulness sessions. For those days when you need to say – FUCK IT!
Meditation One: FUCK MONEY
Do you never have enough money? For example, you work too hard, for too little of it, while everything around you gets more expensive. Even when you do have it, all your money goes to bills and other expenses. Fuck it. Time for an honest meditation. Meanwhile, while some seem to be blessed with the ability to make lots of money, or were born into it, this is not you. All the progressive relaxation and transcendental meditations in the world won’t make it rain money. Stocks, retirement funds, whatever digital currency you invest in, sinking like as ship. Maybe things will get better. All you can do is work harder, work longer, and continue this grind. You can do some positive affirmations. Or, sit back, give a big middle-finger to the almighty currency, and say, fuck it.
Meditation Two: FUCK LOVE
How you doing in the love department, Romeo? I bet you can’t find love, can’t find the right love, or found love and are miserable. Even more, they say that life is built for two, but you are a one. You’re a lone wolf. Let have an honest meditation. Love is a complicated, time-consuming mess. Is it possible that you are better off without it, or should you keep trying? Above all, love is an initial burst of endorphins, the fireworks of passion, that eventually fizzle out like falling dust. You’ve been fooled by love or have loved and lost or maybe never had. There is a secret life code mindfulness meditation that will bring you all the happiness you need. A little guided mindfulness: All you must do is take a deep breath, hold it in for 5 seconds, and then as you exhale make sure you say: fuck it.
Meditation Three: FUCK FRIENDS
You are a good person. Caring, and an all-around good friend to the people that have the smarts enough to be your friend. This is a real guided mindfulness. Moreover, let’s be real – good friends are damn hard to find. Sometimes friends you think are close really aren’t. Sometimes friends vanish to relationships, location, or just time. Fuck friends. You aren’t anti-friendship by any means. An honest meditation? The work to maintain friendship isn’t easy. You have opened your life to strong connections with the idea that great friendship is mutual. However, once things really get deep, and you need support, it’s like a ghost town. Guided mindfulness aside, it’s not easy finding someone with the same taste, interests, and life compatibility. Be real. It’s almost impossible. However, even the very rare times you’ve felt your friend should be there for you, all you can do was deal with it yourself and just thing deeply… fuck it.
Meditation Three: FUCK FAMILY
To both love and friendship, we have said in the loudest of voices, fuck it. First of all, friendship and love you can turn your back to, but family you are stuck with. So, to all those family get togethers, birthday parties, arguments, and judgements, we say, fuck family. At least with friends it was a choice for people to come together. You didn’t choose your family, and if you did choose your family, it wouldn’t be these people. Let’s have an honest meditation. We can call it guided mindfulness. For example, family is nagging, needy, life-consuming, and a major headache. For example, you would think with the knowledge of the family dynamic, family certainly would be loving and helpful. Maybe they can be. Maybe they will be. But they haven’t been, and maybe they aren’t. Let me guide you in a meditation.Put all your worries about family to the back your mind and think very deeply to… fuck it.
Meditation Three: FUCK LIFE
It has beaten you down to no end. You have done everything in your power to stay afloat in money, love, friends, and family. There is nothing wrong with taking a small amount of time to just throw your hands up and say to life: fuck you. Because here’s the thing, someone like you, with the personal power to recognize when life has gone south, can certainly come out of any situation. A fuck it to life is not a warning that you are giving up, it is a statement you are ready to take anything on. This is just an honest meditation. After all, life is just a series of problems you will solve. You are strong, dynamic, and you will get through any obstacle. Even if, just for today, you need to tell life, and everything it contains, to just… fuck it.
Today we explored the FUCK IT honest guided meditation. For more extreme and true meditations be sure to visit us!
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I just got dumped out of my 2.5 year relationship for incredibly stupid reasons, and now I want to high five the creator. ✋
It’s wild how even though this is hilarious, it does serve as a catalyst to remind a person to take slow, deep breaths and be mindful. 🧘
A friend called me during my work day with pettiness. That call left me close to tears. I needed to calm myself and I came across this hidden gem.
This is genuinely the best meditation I’ve ever experienced. Why hasn’t other guided learned to use a little dark comedy.
Anybody else kinda offended by this? I mean so dark and gloomy.
As an Aussie (we swear a lot) this is just GOLD!
Never seen anything like this. Funny but works!
The Sanskrit mantra “Gate Gate Para Gate Para Sam Gate Bodhi Swaha” might be similar to this hilarious meditation: “Gate gate” means “gone, gone”. But why couldn’t it be translated as “gone to hell”, “gone to sh*t”, or f*** it? “Para gate” signifies “gone to the further shore”… Or… I bet you can think of an equivalent 😆 “Para sam gate” means “completely gone to the further shore”… Or completely f*** it! See?😃 “Bodhi” means “awakening, knowledge, enlightenment” “Swaha” is an indeclinable part from Vedic Sanskrit, used at the end of a chanting that accompanies a burnt offering made at a Vedic sacrifice, and is traditionally said to be the name of the wife of Agni, the god of fire. So maybe you mean, whatever thought bothers you has been completely burned, destroyed, turned to ashes… Whatever, all this mantra is a way of saying “f**k it” to something or someone or anything, maybe even to the whole life, the universe and everything else, as a path to enlightenment.